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Janus3003's Skyrim Marriage Counseling
- Thread starter Janus3003
- Start date
DdraigGwyn
Cymru
Dear Janus
Early in my career I became Thane of Whiterun, bought Honeyside and moved in with Lydia. As part of our relationship, I gave her a very nice sapphire gold necklace, which she loved and wore all of the time. Then I met Mjoll, and I realized that she was the woman for me, so we have been together ever since: she wears the ruby ring I gave her as a sign of our relationship. Recently our travels brought us back to Whiterun, with less than happy results.
On entering Honeyside we had a light meal and headed upstairs. On entering the bedroom I was not too happy to find Lydia sitting in the chair by the door: good thing I was wearing a ring protecting against frost, it felt like the temperature in the room dropped 50 degrees. What followed was not pretty, and did not reflect well on either of them. I made the introductions "Mjoll, this is Lydia, she is my housecarl: Lydia, Mjoll is from Riften, and has been working with me"
"WORKING with me!!. Is that how you describe our relationship?"
"so, now I am just your houscarl?"
I had no chance to reply before they faced off.
"I heard that Riften only has two types of people, thieves and whores. You look too fat to be a thief"
"At least I'm not too ugly to be a whore!"
"so, tell me, just what qualifications are needed to be a 'follower'?"
"For starters, he has to chose me: not have me forced on him like a mangy dog"
It went downhill from there. I lay on the bed, trying to get some sleep: not easy with the two of them standing either side of me. I awoke the next morning, not feeling at all Well Rested. Things did not improve. Downstairs I found Mjoll sharpening her battleaxe and Lydia mixing a potionn of Potent Poison. Both are pressuring me to act. Lydia reminds me that that I need to keep on the good side of the Thane if I am to keep pusuing my quest as Dragonborn. Mjoll drops nasty hints about 'what a pity it would be if a non-essential person should be caught in a dragon or vampire attack'.
Janus, help me solve my dilemma: Mjoll looks so much better in blue, should I have them swap jewelry?
Early in my career I became Thane of Whiterun, bought Honeyside and moved in with Lydia. As part of our relationship, I gave her a very nice sapphire gold necklace, which she loved and wore all of the time. Then I met Mjoll, and I realized that she was the woman for me, so we have been together ever since: she wears the ruby ring I gave her as a sign of our relationship. Recently our travels brought us back to Whiterun, with less than happy results.
On entering Honeyside we had a light meal and headed upstairs. On entering the bedroom I was not too happy to find Lydia sitting in the chair by the door: good thing I was wearing a ring protecting against frost, it felt like the temperature in the room dropped 50 degrees. What followed was not pretty, and did not reflect well on either of them. I made the introductions "Mjoll, this is Lydia, she is my housecarl: Lydia, Mjoll is from Riften, and has been working with me"
"WORKING with me!!. Is that how you describe our relationship?"
"so, now I am just your houscarl?"
I had no chance to reply before they faced off.
"I heard that Riften only has two types of people, thieves and whores. You look too fat to be a thief"
"At least I'm not too ugly to be a whore!"
"so, tell me, just what qualifications are needed to be a 'follower'?"
"For starters, he has to chose me: not have me forced on him like a mangy dog"
It went downhill from there. I lay on the bed, trying to get some sleep: not easy with the two of them standing either side of me. I awoke the next morning, not feeling at all Well Rested. Things did not improve. Downstairs I found Mjoll sharpening her battleaxe and Lydia mixing a potionn of Potent Poison. Both are pressuring me to act. Lydia reminds me that that I need to keep on the good side of the Thane if I am to keep pusuing my quest as Dragonborn. Mjoll drops nasty hints about 'what a pity it would be if a non-essential person should be caught in a dragon or vampire attack'.
Janus, help me solve my dilemma: Mjoll looks so much better in blue, should I have them swap jewelry?
jarif
Well-Known Member
My character Humza is conflicted with Serana and Lydia. He is the typical almighty dragonborn sterotype from the trailer. He wants to marry one of them but he can't, he also wants to remain single to remain as a playa but fears if he did marry that something bad would happen, example he builds a house only to have bears, dragons, bandits attack and yeah he does stupid things like that.
He gets jealous when one of them gets hit on, he is seriously considering kidnapping people and punch them in the face like Nazeem. He is now distancing himself at high throthgar, meditating but keeps getting ''distracted'', even Kharjo and Cicero feels sympathy, Cicero went on a rampage especially on Nazeems balls, which he kicked so hard.
He gets jealous when one of them gets hit on, he is seriously considering kidnapping people and punch them in the face like Nazeem. He is now distancing himself at high throthgar, meditating but keeps getting ''distracted'', even Kharjo and Cicero feels sympathy, Cicero went on a rampage especially on Nazeems balls, which he kicked so hard.
jarif
Well-Known Member
there is a argonian and khajiit children mod
Neriad13
Premium Member
Dear Janus,
Not too long ago I met a starving child on the streets of Whiterun. Seeing that she had no where else to go, I took her into my home. As I soon discovered, motherhood was something that I was not quite prepared for. Due to the nature of my oftentimes lonely and dangerous profession, I spend a great deal of time off on long expeditions, with only the briefest of respites at home in between trips. In those times, I leave my daughter in the care of my housecarl, a capable woman, but not the most accommodating of people.
When I do stop at home for a moment, my daughter doesn't quite seem to know what to make of me. She gives a warm greeting, eagerly awaiting the present that I invariably bring back from long trips. But then she seems shy and distant, hiding in her room to play with her doll or running off for a game of tag with the other city children. It breaks my heart, but I know that I can't spend much more time with her, to be the parent that she so desperately needs.
What's more, as we seem to be outgrowing our miniscule accommodations in Whiterun, I've been planning to make a move into a larger house. In all likelihood it won't be the last move we make either, as I would ideally like to keep my family close as my work takes me from one end of Skyrim to the other. However, this only increases my worry for my daughter's well-being. Is that any life for a child? To be shifted from one nanny to the next, shlepped across the province on the fickle whim of dragons?
It was then that it occurred to me that I might marry and find a proper father for her, so that she might have one constant in her young, tumultuous life. Until then, I had never even considered marriage. Lasting relationships have never been something that my profession permits for too long.
I worry about whether I'll be making the right decisions for the right reasons. Is it right to bring a man into a family chiefly for the sake of my child? Should I be forming such a bond if I'll be spending as little time with him as I do with my daughter? Can I, a perpetual loner, a recent arrival in a strange land, even dream of finding romance in a wilderness such as Skyrim? Can any man even live up to my impossible standards, knowing that I want nothing but the best for my child?
Any help is appreciated,
- A Stranger in a Strange Land
Not too long ago I met a starving child on the streets of Whiterun. Seeing that she had no where else to go, I took her into my home. As I soon discovered, motherhood was something that I was not quite prepared for. Due to the nature of my oftentimes lonely and dangerous profession, I spend a great deal of time off on long expeditions, with only the briefest of respites at home in between trips. In those times, I leave my daughter in the care of my housecarl, a capable woman, but not the most accommodating of people.
When I do stop at home for a moment, my daughter doesn't quite seem to know what to make of me. She gives a warm greeting, eagerly awaiting the present that I invariably bring back from long trips. But then she seems shy and distant, hiding in her room to play with her doll or running off for a game of tag with the other city children. It breaks my heart, but I know that I can't spend much more time with her, to be the parent that she so desperately needs.
What's more, as we seem to be outgrowing our miniscule accommodations in Whiterun, I've been planning to make a move into a larger house. In all likelihood it won't be the last move we make either, as I would ideally like to keep my family close as my work takes me from one end of Skyrim to the other. However, this only increases my worry for my daughter's well-being. Is that any life for a child? To be shifted from one nanny to the next, shlepped across the province on the fickle whim of dragons?
It was then that it occurred to me that I might marry and find a proper father for her, so that she might have one constant in her young, tumultuous life. Until then, I had never even considered marriage. Lasting relationships have never been something that my profession permits for too long.
I worry about whether I'll be making the right decisions for the right reasons. Is it right to bring a man into a family chiefly for the sake of my child? Should I be forming such a bond if I'll be spending as little time with him as I do with my daughter? Can I, a perpetual loner, a recent arrival in a strange land, even dream of finding romance in a wilderness such as Skyrim? Can any man even live up to my impossible standards, knowing that I want nothing but the best for my child?
Any help is appreciated,
- A Stranger in a Strange Land
imaginepageant
Slytherin Alumni
Dear Janus,
WHY CAN'T I MARRY RAGOY KNOT BIRD?
Still Waiting,
The Internet
WHY CAN'T I MARRY RAGOY KNOT BIRD?
Still Waiting,
The Internet
Naginata
Huntress of the Shadows
Janus3003
Skyrim Marriage Counselor
First things first- get them the heck away from each other.
Secondly- Don't be pressured by your housecarl into doing anything you don't want to. You are her Thane, and she is not to command you, much less blackmail you.
Thirdly- Mjoll sounds decent enough, but her jealousy is a very large red flag to me. Relationships require trust, and a woman who threatens others for simply looking at her man does not sound very healthy.
Lastly- Don't ask them to exchange jewelry, are you nuts!?
Sounds like it'd be in the best interests for many women if your "character" were to stay single.
I have multiple thoughts regarding your case-
I think you might have moved too quickly in adopting this child. Orphanages exist for a reason, and one of them is to avoid situations like this. Not to shame you for having a loving heart, of course, especially since what's done is done.
It's possible for your child to grow used to moving around. Military families are known for this, in fact. If you have any soldier friends, I'd discuss it with them.
As for marriage- there's no shame in wanting a father for your child, but you should also marry for love. Be honest with your suitors regarding your expectations in a man, but be willing to compromise with them (after all, chances are you won't live up to the full extent of their standards. No one's perfect, after all).
Finally, you might reconsider your career. I'm not saying to give it up, but see if there are ways for you to be home more often.
Ragoy Knot Bird tying himself down to one individual would be a great disservice to the world at large. His marriage would start Trojan World War III or something.
More like, why can't I marry Ulfberth War-Bear
Honey, have you seen Ulfberth's wife? Nothing's pulling him away from that!
Naginata
Huntress of the Shadows
Dear Janus,
I am a Nord woman, and married to Sylgja of Shor's Stone. Together, we care for a son and daughter. We are happily married, and she adores me and I adore her. However, recently, both she and our children have gone missing. Between moving from one house to the other, which we do rather frequently as my preferences in a house change, she and the kids were lost somewhere. I've looked everywhere and cannot find them. I don't know what to do, because I don't want to remarry, but I don't want to be alone and have no one to come home to. What do I do? What if she left me and took the kids, because I wasn't home enough? How do I deal with their absence?
I am a Nord woman, and married to Sylgja of Shor's Stone. Together, we care for a son and daughter. We are happily married, and she adores me and I adore her. However, recently, both she and our children have gone missing. Between moving from one house to the other, which we do rather frequently as my preferences in a house change, she and the kids were lost somewhere. I've looked everywhere and cannot find them. I don't know what to do, because I don't want to remarry, but I don't want to be alone and have no one to come home to. What do I do? What if she left me and took the kids, because I wasn't home enough? How do I deal with their absence?
tx12001
I will not tolerate failure...
Umm?? I am a Vampire so don't ask me, I don't really bother with hearthfire or children so I cant solve your problem, have ever though of spawning them next to you with console commands?
Janus3003
Skyrim Marriage Counselor
Contact the local authorities. Right now, your question should be regarding your family's safety. It sounds like your relationship was going just fine until now.
On the odd chance your wife disappeared with the children because of marital troubles, do not blame yourself. She should have brought up her problems.
Hope you find them soon!
Naginata
Huntress of the Shadows
Thank you, I definitely will. I didn't get any ransom note or anything, so I have no idea if they were captured or not... I hope they weren't captured on their way to our new home. I will continue searching for them and enlist the help of guards.
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tx12001
I will not tolerate failure...
Well Konahrik had his eye on Vex in the Theives Guild back when he was a mere Mortal but I don't believe she would date a Lich let alone get married to one, so he has been thinking about asking Serana for her hand in marriage however he believes she will refuse for some reason but he thinks she would be a good choice because she like him is also Immortal and Considered Dead by Tamrielic Standards being the only difference between them is that she is a Vampire while he is a Lich what is your advice for him?
Lucid
Well-Known Member
Dear Janus,
I joined the Companions only due to a crush on Vilkas. Our morals are not fully aligned, but we have enough in common to overlook our differences and had a wonderful loving marriage for a long time.
My work and wanderlust keep me on the road often, and out of respect for his closeness to his brother and shield siblings we split our time between Jorrvaskr and our home in Solutide.
Several moons ago, we returned to Jorrvaskr late at night and encountered Aela in the hallway, musky and sweaty from "hunting". It was very alluring and we...uh...invited her into our marital bed for the night. Vilkas thoroughly enjoyed sharing, and in the daylight we all went about our business. Then things got weird.
Villas began acting strangely whenever I interacted with other women. It began with bumping me and saying "Oh!" when I was talking to Nadja. We then went to Riften where he interrupted me every time I tried to talk to Mjoll. When I visited my old friend Vex, he kept literally standing between us and not letting me speak to her.
I decided it was best for us to not travel together until he had worked through what I assumed was insecurity/jealousy, and he agreed to return to Solitude. Now whenever I am home he greets me warmly, cooks for me and we enjoy frequent Lovers Comfort. But outside of those activities he just follows my Housecarl around the house glaring at her. I am reluctant to return him to Jorrvaskr for fear that he will now treat Aela as poorly as he does Jordis. He isn't interested in talking about this, but his behaviour has changed since that night.
What do I do? Should I accept that Our night of shared passion broke my marriage? Should we pursue inviting more women into our marriage in the hopes that he will get over it faster that way?
Please help,
Reluctant Harbinger
I joined the Companions only due to a crush on Vilkas. Our morals are not fully aligned, but we have enough in common to overlook our differences and had a wonderful loving marriage for a long time.
My work and wanderlust keep me on the road often, and out of respect for his closeness to his brother and shield siblings we split our time between Jorrvaskr and our home in Solutide.
Several moons ago, we returned to Jorrvaskr late at night and encountered Aela in the hallway, musky and sweaty from "hunting". It was very alluring and we...uh...invited her into our marital bed for the night. Vilkas thoroughly enjoyed sharing, and in the daylight we all went about our business. Then things got weird.
Villas began acting strangely whenever I interacted with other women. It began with bumping me and saying "Oh!" when I was talking to Nadja. We then went to Riften where he interrupted me every time I tried to talk to Mjoll. When I visited my old friend Vex, he kept literally standing between us and not letting me speak to her.
I decided it was best for us to not travel together until he had worked through what I assumed was insecurity/jealousy, and he agreed to return to Solitude. Now whenever I am home he greets me warmly, cooks for me and we enjoy frequent Lovers Comfort. But outside of those activities he just follows my Housecarl around the house glaring at her. I am reluctant to return him to Jorrvaskr for fear that he will now treat Aela as poorly as he does Jordis. He isn't interested in talking about this, but his behaviour has changed since that night.
What do I do? Should I accept that Our night of shared passion broke my marriage? Should we pursue inviting more women into our marriage in the hopes that he will get over it faster that way?
Please help,
Reluctant Harbinger
Dear Janus , I am a khajiit warrior, thief , scavenger type and successful goods trader named Sabretooth who has earned quite a hefty sum of gold septims from my adventures across skyrim especially from dealing with the likes of the thieves guild and various merchants throughout skyrim anyway I married a lady from solitude who I thought would compliment my warrior lifestyle in Jordis the Swordmaiden things started out fine after the wedding ceremony in riften she was more than happy to move into the home I built for us which is called proudspire manor . Jordis seems happy at times but she has stopped making meals for me infact I notice her spending lots of time with the house steward infact when he goes outside she follows right behind I witness them almost everytime out digging in the clay togther with pick axes outside our home and when its night and I get home from a quest there they are at the door following eachother inside one after the other . I am trying not to be the jealous husband type but how much time can one spend with a house steward , I'll admit I do go way on many quests without her to provide her with the many luxury items our house contains and to make her life as comfortable as possible at proudspire manor . My question to you janus is do I have a right to be suspicious of the goings on with the house steward should I include my wife Jordis more in my adventures and risk her life or continue to keep her safe at our home proudspire manor ? Should I fire the house steward ? What is a Khajiit to do . I must admit as a brave khajiit warrior I sometimes feel like I need to take out the my great stalhrim sword with soultrap and lay down the law especially if that house steward is messing with the wife while living in the confort of my home which I built with my sweat and toil . One other detail for you Janus Jordis and I have no adpoted children so she has free time on her hands we have not discussed any adoption plans since both of us being warrior types we feel children might get in the way of any adventures and money making opportunites skyrim has to offer us . Janus does my ability to be a wearwolf from time to time affect my marriage to Jordis could that be the reason for her not to be happy mixing cat and dog cant be good can it ?
PraiseTheMightyTalos
New Member
Janus,
I am having a problem with my marriage. You see, I'm currently married to a fellow who is the heir to an inn, but the spark in our marriage has gone. He acts egotistical and cruel towards me sometimes, even when I ask him the simplest requests like whether he has cooked for me. It's not my fault that I don't have the time to cook. I'm needed at the office a lot. I'm the best worker they have, and I can't quit. I just got tenure!
That's not even the worst part. Sometimes I catch him...flirting with other women. Offering them drinks on the house and things. Once during our "Lover's Comfort" he even cried out the name Vivienne! This was a while ago, and we haven't comforted each other since. To retaliate, I've been flirting with his father and we're sort of having an affair and I think I'm in love with him. I have no idea what to do. He's no longer the man I married, he's looking elsewhere, and now I'm in love with someone else. His father, no less. Please help me.
I am having a problem with my marriage. You see, I'm currently married to a fellow who is the heir to an inn, but the spark in our marriage has gone. He acts egotistical and cruel towards me sometimes, even when I ask him the simplest requests like whether he has cooked for me. It's not my fault that I don't have the time to cook. I'm needed at the office a lot. I'm the best worker they have, and I can't quit. I just got tenure!
That's not even the worst part. Sometimes I catch him...flirting with other women. Offering them drinks on the house and things. Once during our "Lover's Comfort" he even cried out the name Vivienne! This was a while ago, and we haven't comforted each other since. To retaliate, I've been flirting with his father and we're sort of having an affair and I think I'm in love with him. I have no idea what to do. He's no longer the man I married, he's looking elsewhere, and now I'm in love with someone else. His father, no less. Please help me.
Janus3003
Skyrim Marriage Counselor
Try having a frank discussion with your husband if at all possible. Do anything you safely can to make that happen. However, if he becomes cruel and abusive, get out and stay with a friend.
I also strongly urge that you stop pursuing his father. Hurt as you are, there's no need to stoop to your husband's level. If you are indeed in love with the father and he returns those feelings, it's best to wait on pursuing that path until you are divorced.