You are killign me here! Okay, after a logn time of trying to decide, I have come up with a tie...
1. The Pactmaster, The Madgod, The Wine-King and the Knower of the Unknown. (Vile, Sheo', Sanguine and Mora) The Pactmaster is a manipulative b*stard, and I respect that. Sheo' is... He's Sheogorath, man, do I even need something? Fine... "Now, I know what you're thinking; 'Can I still sue my weapons and magic and stabbin'? Yes, you could... Or you could use the WABBAJACK! Didn't see that one coming, did ya'?" and all of the following:
Oblivion
- I'm so happy I could just tear out your intestines and strangle you with them!
- Jyggalag! He is the Prince of Order. Or biscuits...no, no, Order! And not in a good way. Bleak. Colorless. Dead. Boring, boring, BORING! And not a fan of my work, I can tell you. Hates it, hates me. You've seen his knights. Not the warm and cuddly sort.
- Jyggalag's forces are gathering in the Fringe...And I HATE IT when people gather forces in my Fringe!
- I once dug a pit and filled it with clouds....or was it clowns.... it doesn't matter, it didn't slow him down. But it really began to smell! Must have been clowns. Clouds don't smell, they taste of butter. And tears.
- ... and OUT comes the intestines! And I skip rope with them!
- I'm a little busy here! I'm trying to decide what to have for dinner. Oh, how I love to eat. One of my favorite things to do. Go talk to Haskill, he's got more brains than a brain pie! Ooh...brain pie... perfect! ...Care to donate?
- I hate indecision! ... or maybe I don't. Well, make up your mind. Or I'll have your skin made into a hat. Maybe one of those arrowcatchers. I love those hats!
- Ta! Come visit again! Or I'll pluck out your eyes, ha ha ha!
- [About Jyggalag] Malacath is more popular at parties! And Malacath is NOT popular at parties!
- Wonderful! Time for a celebration... Cheese for everyone! Wait, scratch that. Cheese for no one. That can be just as much of a celebration, if you don't like cheese, true? You've run a maze like a good little rat. But no cheese for you yet. Well, maybe a little.
- And Xedilian? Seeing as you're standing here, I assume you've succeeded. Or you're terribly confused. Or really lacking in good judgment.
- The Isles. THE ISLES! They're a wonderful place to be, except when they are horrible. Then they are HORRIBLY WONDERFUL! Good for a visit! Or for an eternity.
- YOU dare interrupt ME? Only I interrupt me! Like just then.
- You're making my teeth itch!
- It'll move mountains! It'll mount movements!
- Daedra are the embodiment of change, change and permanency. I'm no different. Except in the ways that I am.
- Woops! I guess the cat's out of the bag on that one! Who puts cats in bags anyhow? Cats HATE bags.
- You really shouldn't have done that. Enjoy the view. - If the the player attacks him.
- Now get out of here before I change my mind....or my mind changes me.
- Wondering why I let him/her go, don't you? I can see it in your face... mostly in your eyes. I may take those from you when all of this is over.
Skyrim
- More tea, Pelly my dear?
- You are far too hard on yourself, my dear, sweet, homicidally insane Pelagius. What would the people do without you? Dance? Sing? Smile? Grow old?
- You are the best Septim that's ever ruled. Well, except for that Martin fellow, but he turned into a dragon god, and that's hardly sporting...
- You know, I was there for that whole sordid affair. Marvelous times! Butterflies, blood, a Fox and severed head... Oh, and the cheese! To die for. (Referring his time as the Champion of Cyrodiil, the Fox being the Gray Fox and the head is that of Mathieu Bellamont's mother. And the Cheese was something the current Sheogorath said to the Champion of Cyrodiil during the Shivering Isles in Oblivion. "Cheese for everyone! No, wait, scratch that, no cheese. That could be just as much of a celebration if you don't like cheese. ).
- H'afrumph! Well then, if you're going to be like that... Perhaps it's best I take my leave. A good day to you sir. I said good day!
- Was it Molag? No, no... Little Tim, the toymaker's son? The ghost of King Lysandus? Or was it... Yes! Stanley, that talking grapefruit from Passwall.
- But only half right. I'm a mad god. The Mad God, actually. It's a family title. Gets passed down from me to myself every few thousand years.
- "WRONG!! Actually, you do. Sort of."
- "I am a part of you, little mortal. I am a shadow of your subconsious, a blemish on your fragile little psyche. You know me. You just don't know it."
- Now you. You can call me Ann Marie. But only if you're partial to being flayed alive and having an angry immortal skip rope with your entrails. I'f not... Then call me Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness. Charmed.
- Now that's the real question, isn't it? Because honestly, how much time off could a demented Daedra really need?
- Well, I suppose it's back to the Shivering Isles. The trouble Haskill can get into while I'm gone simply boggles the mind...
- And as for you, my little mortal minion... Feel free to keep the Wabbajack. As a symbol of my... Oh, just take the damn thing.
- You take care of yourself, now. And if you ever find yourself in New Sheoth, do look me up. We can share a strawberry torte. Ta ta!
- "Ooh, ooh, what kind of message? A song? a summons? Wait, I know! A death threat written on the back of an Argonian concubine? Those are my favorite.
- You know, you remind me of myself at a young age. All I cared about was riding narwhales (sic) and sleeping in honeycombs and drinking babies' tears...
- Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind!
Sanguine becuase his quest is the best thing ever (I still laugh at the fact that I apparently fondled the statues of Dibella) and Mora becaus eof Septimus Signus. Twisted, foul little bugger... But, he has some of the best dialogue this side of Cicero.
2. Vaermina, because she is just awesome. Nearly as manipulative as Clavicus, and she ordered me to kill a sniveling Priest of Mara who I found highly annoying to begin with. A toast to the good health of the Dream Queen!
3. Meridia. She let me see Skyrim from a birds-eye view, something I normally have to sacrifice myself to a giant for.
4. Hircine, because he rewards me even if I just tell him to go **** himself and help the werewolf. I think he's just desperate for a champion, now.
5. Boethi-Freaking-Ah! She made me sacrifice a follower in the most awesome way ever. That is all.