Inheritance? Really?

[Jamirus]

So i was playing as my dark mage. As a dark mage i want to destroy things and kill people. I started the golden claw quest and Camilla valerius led me out of riverwood. Once outside i murdered her.

So i went through the whole Golden claw quest and back to Lucan. Once back i gave him the claw and then within five seconds, murdered him. I took his claw and left. As soon as i left i was greeted by a courier.

"I have a letter for you, oh! And a lot of gold. Something about an inheritance!" *facepalm*

So, let me get this straight. Camilla and Lucas are both killed by fire. Apparently in short five seconds that me and Lucan are friends, he adds me to his will and gives me 300 gold. There were no witnesses and somehow the jarl automatically knows me and him were friends, seems to know that Lucan has just died and somehow has Lucans will before even discovering his body. Then somehow he sends a courier to riverwood and writes the whole letter of inheritance within five seconds. (Damn imperials and their speed of light courier service.)

Lucan has just been burned to death and as i leave his house, wielding fire spells a courier regrets to inform me of his death. *double facepalm* This has to be the most productive five seconds in history.

In these five seconds:

Lucan added me to his will and somehow brought it to whiterun
The jarl used some kind of supernatural power to know that Lucan was dead.
He used his crazy hands to write a letter of inheritance and his speed of light courier service to send a letter from whiterun to riverwood.
Lucan died
Money was taken
The jarl regretted to inform me of Lucan's demise
The courier gave me the letter and blabbered about inheritance.

I believe the speed of light has been broken.

 

[Torok]

Happen to me too. Shortly after a dragon attacked it killed Alvor and Sigred and I get a letter after Alvor dies. What the heck? At least a few weeks after their death would be more realistic.

 

[Jamirus]

Wait, did the courier come while the dragon was still attacking?! That would have been funny.

 

[Torok]

No, just after.

 

[Gearuvagen]

Simple answer, every courier and jarl are secretly servants of Hermaeus Mora who being the Prince of Fate already knows the outcome of the battle and preemptively sends the letter of inheritance...Daedra like to be efficient

 

[Iveri Sarothil]

My Nord got irritated with the merchant at that clothing store in Solitude. Killed her, left the building, immediately met a courier who told me someone had heard of my murder of the woman and wanted me to go deal with someone else. The ghost hadn't even left the body yet.

This game adds new meaning to the term "fly on the wall". Clearly news travels as fast as it does because Skyrim is full of teleporting flies.

 

[Bad-People]

I murder Grelod the Kind in Riften, walk out the door and immediately fast travel to Windhelm landing next to a guard who says "Heard some old lady in Riften who runs an orphanage was murdered, poor children must be devastated." Fast news mean inaccurate news I guess.

 

[Dragon]

I killed the first dragon and then went to markath, how in oblivion does markath guard know that im dragonborn? i only just found out 2 minutes ago...

 

[Wildroses]

I once gave a drunk in Dawnstar some mead literally five seconds before he was killed by a frost troll I hadn't realised was following me, and somehow he'd managed to change his will and lodge it with the Jarl in those five seconds. Clearly in Skyrim the lawyers are speedy and invisible.

I also was quite cross when Angrenor Once-Honored left me 100 gold for giving him a coin. If he had 100 gold to give to a random stranger who forgot all about him after giving him a coin, why was he begging? I didn't kill him, by the way, I have no idea how or why he died?

 

[DrunkenMage]

I don't trust the Couriers, after having one deliver me a letter... "Well thank you medieval post man, wait... why don't you have clothes on... what the hell have you been doing to my letter? "

 

[Ru;indil]

This is a funny one. I and Lydia were basking in the springs of Eastmarch. We saw a bear nearby and I ordered Lydia to attack it , so she did. But she lost and I had to deal with it. Killed it in 2 seconds with my Nord Hero greatsword that does 106 damage + 30 fire damage. When Lydia stood up again , I starting saying to myself , that weak comrades are worthless ones and deserve to die. So I killed her. 2 minutes later , I reach Mixwater Mill. A Courier comes and gives me a letter of inheritance , telling me I lost someone dear. I read through the letter and then decapitated the courier , 'cuz it said that Lydia had bestowed upon me 300 gold and the Jarl's court gave an additional 10 gold. So how the heck did she know I was gonna kill her lol ?

 

[Morgan]

I walked through the Whiterun gate at night once and was immediately surrounded by a vampire raid. I helped the guards dispatch the attackers, and while the guards were still sheating their swords and walking back towards their posts, a courier ran up to me with an inheritence letter from "Master Vampire"! I have no idea what made me the vamp's friend in the few seconds he was alive in my presence. Maybe I accidently hit the guard who killed him, but they didn't turn and arrest me afterwards the way they usually do in that case.

 

[Mr Forz]

Oh well, inheritance anyways... I'm getting bugged to the bone with that, to the point that I happen to get the inheritance from Bandit Chiefs, Ghosts.. Last time it was a Draugr Deathlord.

 

[Rand Althor]

I don't trust the Couriers, after having one deliver me a letter... "Well thank you medieval post man, wait... why don't you have clothes on... what the hell have you been doing to my letter? "

Who needs a mail bag when you could just as easily use a simple loin-cloth

 

[ambiiientz]

The Jarl felt a disturbance in the Force...

 

[Finnsson]

I remember my first inheritance like it was yesterday. I had just given Amren his family sword back, received the free training, and immediately disposed of him. Then the courier, who am positive was not behind me just seconds before, hands me the inheritance while I'm still in sneak mode, clutching a bloody dagger over the dead body of the man who supposedly had enough time in his three seconds of liking me to include me in his will. Then the courier (who is naked by the way) glances at Amren and says, "I'm going to find whoever did this."

He won't be making detective anytime soon.

That's Skyrim logic for you, the same logic that claims that horses can climb cliff faces and that humans are invincible until puberty. I won't question it; I'll just blame Akatosh for not having a tight enough grip on the hands of time.

 

[Reaper0021]

After being "Tea-Bagged" by a naked courier, my Assassin is scarred for life. As a result of this, I kill ALL couriers on sight. The nightmares I have of that incident are always fresh in my mind...and a chief reason why my character doesn't drink tea to this day.

 

[Morgan]

After being "Tea-Bagged" by a naked courier, my Assassin is scarred for life. As a result of this, I kill ALL couriers on sight. The nightmares I have of that incident are always fresh in my mind...and a chief reason why my character doesn't drink tea to this day.

You'd think that would make you dislike prune juice, not tea.

 

[Inquisitor Saken]

One time I got a letter of inheritance that said, 'it is with great regret that we inform you of Bandit's death.'

I'M NOT KIDDING

 

[Skulli]

This is a funny one. I and Lydia were basking in the springs of Eastmarch. We saw a bear nearby and I ordered Lydia to attack it , so she did. But she lost and I had to deal with it. Killed it in 2 seconds with my Nord Hero greatsword that does 106 damage + 30 fire damage. When Lydia stood up again , I starting saying to myself , that weak comrades are worthless ones and deserve to die. So I killed her. 2 minutes later , I reach Mixwater Mill. A Courier comes and gives me a letter of inheritance , telling me I lost someone dear. I read through the letter and then decapitated the courier , 'cuz it said that Lydia had bestowed upon me 300 gold and the Jarl's court gave an additional 10 gold. So how the heck did she know I was gonna kill her lol ?

Since when are couriers killable? All I ever got was a courier on one knee and a bounty...