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Journal of a Vampire

But regarding my 'losing stuff' complaints, I think it could have been fixed with a bit of planning. Not saying you didn't plan; you evidently did put lots of planning into this! But you kind of lacked the effort to do some decent plans for the first entry. Which in most opinions, is the hardest one.
 
just updated the backstory and rules for my new playthrough about to put out entry 1 (btw there is only like 1 new rule)

ALSO YOU MUST READ THE BACKSTORY TO UNDERSTAND THE NEW ENTRY AS YOU WILL BE HEARING A LOT OF JACK WHO YOU WON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT UNLESS YOU READ THE BACKSTORY AND STUFF

I love the new backstory!!! This is going to be interesting...
 
Overall, the writing is good. But a few things are bothering me. It's mainly these kind of lazy reasons for losing your powers and stuff. Silver chains, really? The bear broke all your armor and weapons? I'm pretty sure it'd break every bone in your body before your leather armor breaks. Also I'm pretty confused on how Jack came to you. If he 'saved' you, wouldn't you not be a vampire?

Otherwise though, the backstory is pretty cool, as well as the quirks you have planned. Your writing has gotten better too, as I've noticed.
personally I liked the silver chains as 1. it is extra injurious to undead 2. its the only way I could think of that would make sense for Dar-Shein not to break out of the regular rope and just kill everyone.

Also the reason for losing his power is a reason you gave me so I am not sure why you don't like that. Dar-Shein has not realized it yet but the dragon priests are the ones that are making this happen to him and I plan on an accidental early encounter with one in which he realizes that is what has seeped his power.

Also I see what u r saying on the bear its just that I really wanted Dar-Shein to actually know what is going on through the real Helgen. I couldn't think of anything else unless I said that maybe Hadvar somehow sneak attacks him as they walk out and he steals all his stuff but then it wouldn't make sense for Dar-Shein to not try to kill him the minute he see's him in riverwood.

thirdly I take the blame for this one as I really wanted to get it started last night and that resulted in me writing hastily. Basically in my head it all made sense and I knew what happened but I just realized on paper it is hard to understand so let me try to clear it up. As Dar-Shein is being cursed by the witch Jack attempts to run (he is a spirit though remember that) and save this poor dark elf that he see's is being cursed but Jack goes after the witch and she being freaked out by this uses the wrong spell and uses soul trap. But unknowingly when you soul trap a soul it makes the soul able to go into a body instead of go out of one and because of the spell he is shot back into Dar-Shein and they are fused.

Thanks for both the constructive criticism and the compliment. I was hoping someone would say I had become a better writer as I read it and I thought it looked better than before (even though its much longer).Sorry for the confusion and hope this clears things up. :)
 
I love the new backstory!!! This is going to be interesting...
Thanks! I really looked at what kinda sucked about the old Dar-Shein and realized that compared to others his backstory was miniscule so I tried to beef it up a little and make it more interesting.
 
Thanks! I really looked at what kinda sucked about the old Dar-Shein and realized that compared to others his backstory was miniscule so I tried to beef it up a little and make it more interesting.
An easy workaround for the Helgen/armor/weapon thing would be to say that Hadvar was about to cut your binds but saw they were silver and realized what you are. He promised to lead you out, but was too afraid of you to cut your binds. As a result, you couldn't pick up anything along the way. Maybe he agreed to leave a dagger on the path a little ways away from you for your word that you wouldn't harm him.
 
An easy workaround for the Helgen/armor/weapon thing would be to say that Hadvar was about to cut your binds but saw they were silver and realized what you are. He promised to lead you out, but was too afraid of you to cut your binds. As a result, you couldn't pick up anything along the way. Maybe he agreed to leave a dagger on the path a little ways away from you for your word that you wouldn't harm him.
nice I like that but wont be using it as i have already typed it all up and would be deleting a lot to do that. Thanks though good suggestion
 
I changed the backstory a bit to clear up how Jack got inside Dar-Shein hopefully it helps explain things
 
Hey would you guys go for a more magical vampire as I think this playthrough will be too bland if Im all sneak and conjuration so I think I will be using some destruction since it has helped me a lot so far. Is anyone opposed to that?
 
Hey would you guys go for a more magical vampire as I think this playthrough will be too bland if Im all sneak and conjuration so I think I will be using some destruction since it has helped me a lot so far. Is anyone opposed to that?
Hey, magic sucks, magic users suck and I want to wipe Skyrim clean of all of them. (-Nogar)

Seriously, though, TES vampires are MADE to use magic, so go nuts, but remember restoration is holy! Mix some illusion into your playthrough, too, if you want to. My last character was a Breton conjuration vampire, but without illusion would not have been that much fun to play. Basically, whatever keeps it fun for you, then your passion will come through in your writing. When the writer is passionate, it doesn't even matter what you write about, it will usually be good!
 
Hey, magic sucks, magic users suck and I want to wipe Skyrim clean of all of them. (-Nogar)

Seriously, though, TES vampires are MADE to use magic, so go nuts, but remember restoration is holy! Mix some illusion into your playthrough, too, if you want to. My last character was a Breton conjuration vampire, but without illusion would not have been that much fun to play. Basically, whatever keeps it fun for you, then your passion will come through in your writing. When the writer is passionate, it doesn't even matter what you write about, it will usually be good!
Cool I think I will go illusion mainly for some of the sneakier stuff though (muffled invisible) and as kind of an OH CRAP button (calm spells) this is because as you know Illusion is really overpowered if you sink a lot of points into it. Ok thanks for the suggestion and sorry I couldn't post last night, family was using netflix till like 12:30
 
Made a rule change to make it a little harder. Master difficulty during the day and Expert at night. It fits with the vampire theme and it makes it so that even if I am in a dungeon I will still suffer some penalty. Also day is from 7 am to 7 pm (this is in my opinion I don't actually know exactly what time it is that it changes in skyrim) and night is 7 pm to 7 am.
 
Going to go see Dark Knight Rises hope you guys like the 2 new entries! (did anyone like my attempt at humor to start off page 4?)
 
Made a rule change to make it a little harder. Master difficulty during the day and Expert at night. It fits with the vampire theme and it makes it so that even if I am in a dungeon I will still suffer some penalty. Also day is from 7 am to 7 pm (this is in my opinion I don't actually know exactly what time it is that it changes in skyrim) and night is 7 pm to 7 am.
I know from my last character that the game's official sunrise/daylight is at 5 am. Not sure about nightfall, but 7 or 8 sounds about right.
 
I am bored as I cannot play skyrim atm so I decided I'll post an image of what Dar-Shein looks like but sadly I don't have anyhting that would take a good enough picture of it so this is just pretty close.

images


This is just the Dark Elf preset 3 but this is pretty close to what he looks like. He has longer hair, a smaller nose and is a little lighter skin
 
About to post a new Dar-Shein but it may be a lot worse than the rest, lets just say I was very annoyed and distracting whilst playing
 
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